(#) Togot 2005-09-18
ok about sentence structure, you should start paragraphs with a tab, maybe your computer is like mind and when you copy and paste the story the tabs get erased so I have to mark them and go through it pressing the space bar but right now yours story is one big paragraph and when you have to people speaking you should keep their dialogue in separate paragraphs so people don’t get confused about who is saying what, keep up the progress; I think your getting better.