This is very amusing. I especially like the ending. I have to admit I would have found the lisping annoying if the story was long, but it is definitely hypello and it was perfect for a story of this length told from a hypello's perspective.
I really enjoy Barkeep's fantasy about how the girls asked him aboard the ship. What more can I say? You really have a good sense of humour, one light years ahead of the game designers'.