Two things:
One, it's called capitalization.
Two, I'm sorry, that last line made me flash back to Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Okay, me being catty aside... Show, don't tell. You're obviously inexperienced. It takes a lot of reading and a lot of practice to learn the difference between showing us something (which draws us in and makes us want to read more) and telling us something (which makes us think, "wow, is this kid like 13?"). I also find the plot to be a little... done. Still, while it was a little cliche, There were some elegant passages in there, although they were riddled with a complete disrespect for the conventions of the English language. Keep working at it and... get a beta.
Also, describing your characters with profiles before the story starts is kinda lame. You should integrate descriptions of them into the story. It's a slower start but it's much more graceful and respectful toward your readers.