FicWad

Another good chapter, thanks!

In my continuing effort to help you improve your writing, I took notes while reading this chapter so as to be able to point out places where editorial alterations would be beneficial.

1. "'s": plural vs posessive;
Plural is indicated with an "s" added at the end of the word. (books, dementors, schools) The apostrophe ('s) indicates possession. (Hermoine's books, olivander's store.)

2. Your vs you're: Another common error in English . "You're" is a contraction of "you are" as in: "If you're ready we'll go." ("If you are ready, we will go.") "Your" indicates ownership as in: "Are these your books?" Thusly: "If you're ready, grab your books and we'll go."

3. punctuation - ?,
Not every sentence in written english ends in a period. questions are indicated by the "?" surprise or other excitement is indicated by the "!". So many fan fic authors consistently fail to use correct punctuation that when one manages to do so it is a refreshing break. please pay attention to yours.

4. Passed vs, past. This is another common homonym misuse throughout this fic. "Past" indicated time or a static location. As in: "It was ten minutes past the time they were supposed to arrive." or "Her skirt hung to just past her knees. Whereas "passed" indicates active movement. "the fireball passed closely by his head, singeing his hair."

5. formerly vs. formally.
"Formerly" means "in the past."
So, Neville bowed formally to the wizengamoot, and he formerly owned a rememberall.

Again, I am not trying to be rude, Just to-the-point.
Thanks again for sharing your vision with us all.

P.S. if you are interested, you can reach me at: fyrecat[at]hotmail[dot]com.