Review for I think About You

I think About You

(#) everlong 2008-03-23

I'm hoping Axl tries to win Izzy over from Steven. He seems pretty cut up about the whole situation, I just want to see how he'll prove to Izz that he wants him. xD But yeah, cool chapter. Just one thing though, that you could maybe improve if you wanted to. The action of Axl 'kissing him passionately on the lips.' When it comes to actions like that, cut out the 'lips' part, 'cause...well....I think the reader can gather where he's kissing him when it comes to that. Also...you could go into a little detail...like, talk about tongues (this sounds so wrong, lol) or if the other person is responding, etc. But all in all, lookin' forward to the next update. The way you portray Izz is pretty realistic. xD