Review for One Man Army

One Man Army

(#) boghi8462 2008-04-13

At this moment the only other Clone!Harry fic I know is "Commander Potter" by Tellie571 on ff.net, and even that goes in a completely other way. So this thing has potential.

I agree with Cateagle: if only you could write some smut this would climb very quick very high in my list of preferences. For pairings we can have HP/FemaleClone, HP/Padme and, with a bit of work on the plot, HP/Tonks (to clone a metamorphomagus could very well be something akin to a dream come true for the kaminoans).

Regarding the battle, I also vote for a victory. Considering that all the cones are Force Sensitives and SHOULD 'all' be able to use magic, I think the casualty rate for this first battle should be no more than 40 percent, with an 'optimum' rate at 32-35 percent.

Speaking of Force Sensitivity, I seem to remember that it considered canon that the greater the connection with the Force, the more powerful that individual is and the more ripples will his/hers death make through the Force. This way, with a casualty rate of 32 percent and an effective of 2000, the death of 640 very powerful Force Sensitives will make a MONSTUOUS ripple though the Force. Both the Jedi and the Sith (who, at this moment are either on Naboo or their hidden base on one of the Naboo system moons) will quickly come to investigate. It will be interesting to see what will you have Palpatine do if he is already a senator for Naboo.

I almost forgot the local effect of the death of a large number of Force users. If you Harry has any bit of Empathy or you chose to make him just only a bit like the Exile from KotOR, this first battle will be VERY hard for our young commander.

Oh well... I hope my review will help and I am most anxious to see where you will take this fic.

Boghi

Author's response

Harry's ability to sense the force is untapped. Thanks for the heads up, I'll put a scene on that in chp.5,Ch.4 is uploaded already. :) enjoy!

Also, I cannot write a smut scene for shit T.T unless you know someone who can write good smut, it's not going to happen for now. Also, I don't think Harry should lose too much troops, after all he'll need them for what i have in store for him and the legion. Next chapter will also give him a new type of clone troopers, so wait and see.