Look, I like the story. You do, however, have it mis categorized. It seems, to me, that you are a NATURAL HUMOR WRITER. Trust me, i've stood where you are at one point. I tried to write something dramatic, angsty even... and I found myself writing about number 18 defrosting her husband, Krillan, with a hairdryer after aliens froze him... (DragonballZ)
there comes a time when we must cheerfully embrace our natural talents, and ignore that which we can't write..
As for me, i'm enjoying the story. It makes me smile, which is always a good thing, right?
~Caliko