Review for Ongaku


(#) MarkPoa 2008-05-19

The writing is fairly good and I think the use of music or instruments as descriptions is fairly unique.

I do think you need to work on the pacing a little bit better. The ambiance was pretty good and evoked a moody feel, but the sentences (especially the long ones) made the story feel rushed. I thought it had a bad effect overall and removed some of the somberness of the piece.

I do look forward to more of this.

Author's response

Wow, I never thought of that. Thanks.

I think I see what you mean. I'm really weak at that sort of thing, so I don't know, but I'll put that comment into consideration.

Thank you for reviewing.