You missed one:
“Did you wash your pants with Meyer’s Magical Window Cleaner?” Harry asked the sixth year Hufflepuff girl.
“No. Why?” she inquired.
“Because I can see myself in them.”
And, do you mind if I use this line in real life?
“...do you know why you should always masturbate with these two fingers?”
“No, why?”
“Because they’re mine, and that would make me so happy.”
(It's my new favorite cheesy pick-up line now)
Anyway, thanks for sharing. It was a hoot.
Author's response
- I wanted to use 'see my self in them' but every time I wrote it out, it was stupid. Ditto: "Can you lick your nipples? Can I?" and many many others.
Re: Two Fingers, feel free. I didn't invent it (you can tell by my nonbleeding unslapped face)