Well you asked me to read it, and so I did.
It's pretty interesting, except...
It jumps back and forth a lot.
Ya know?
It's like this is all happening over a few days, but it shouldn't happen like that.
...
Well what do I know? Heh.
Continue, I shall read the rest as well. ^^
It's pretty good so far, 'cept a few parts are a little confoozling.
^^