FicWad

Very exciting. :) For constructive criticism, I'll use an example:

" Did you find teh others?"
" No. But I did get in touch with Neil on the PMR. Then it went dead. Did you?"
" No. Wait you said Neil?"
" Yeah. Why?"

1. Spell check. There are tons of online spell checkers to use.
2. No space between the quotation marks and words.
3. You could describe how they talk, and what they feel, and in what tone. =)
4. Double-spacing it would make it look longer, and make it easier to read. =) like:

"Did you find the others?"

"No. But I did get in touch with Neil on the PMR. Then it went dead. Did you?"

"No. Wait you said Neil?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Just some advice. but very good story, I look forward to reading more.