Uhh dude! You might want to try using correct grammar and punctuation. Like maybe try not making an entire sentence last for what should be an entire paragraph. I really can't be bothered to read a story with such crap punctuation, it looks like you didn't even try to make it good. Are you sure your older then 12 coz I really haven't met many 13 year olds that have such bad writing skills. I don't know, maybe english isn't your first language, if so then I'm sorry, if not then you really need to work on it before you post stuff on here. I'm really not trying to be a bitch, just giving you some constructive critiscm!