(#) Nila 2008-08-27
This is great. The idea is incredible. My only suggestion is...well...have someone look over your work for you if at all possible. There were spelling and grammar mistakes that made the story confusing and disrupted the flow. Just...for example, it's not a Time Tuner but a Time Turner.
Please don't be offended. I swear this isn't a flame. I just want your story to be as amazing as I can see it becoming.
Please update soon.