(#) siaru 2008-10-10
This is an interesting and intriguing one, to be sure.
The focus on Betrayer!Remus makes fresh a meme I've seen before, that of TetheredGoat!Harry (usually confined to Durskaban for a mutual takedown with TMR at ward-fall). Nice to see HJP's got some Weasleys on his side. With McGonagall showing her true colors like this (as if there was doubt, the way she hewed to AD's line throughout canon), the only Hogwarts staff likely to help rather than harm Harry, if any, will be Flitwicke (due to his Goblin connection), although Sprout might surprise us with a keen and savage sense of Hufflepuff justice. The "potioning of HJG and HJP by assorted sordid Weasleys" is crypto-canon, the anvil-sized dropped clues are so thick in book 6, and so blithely ignored in book 7; no surprise there.
Is Luna tracking any of this? Some writers play her as a Seer (while, in canon, the Quidditch commentary in HBP revealed her as an airhead -- d'you get the feeling JKR came to hate her characters by the last two books?) -- 'twill be interesting to see your take on it.
Your handling of memory-strand duplication is logical, given Harry's prodigious-in-canon power. Lesser folks will likely need the protective shell of a Pensieve to contain the process.
Nice to see Harry's Horcrux!Scar blasted away into the ward-boost-recycling so readily; I would've had a Dementor suck it out. Does Harry need a refresher on Parseltongue, or is his Peverell ancestry enough for that?
I personally am not a fan of piercings or tattoos, but the tattooing and the rationale for it played logically and realistically to me, considering the (original but logical) permanent Animagus markings: +1 Insightful there.
Your writing is rushed and sometimes lumpy, but it's readable. Don't stop to fix things now; wait until the tale is told, then subject it to beta. If you end up doing the beta work yourself, the beginning parts will be fresher to your eyes by then.
Good thing you made the bike a Triumph; I don't think canon post-HBP Harry could handle a Vincent at a stoplight, much less pick it up if it got dropped (I've seen one fic where it was a Black Shadow, others where it was a Harley -- either way, that's heavy machinery).
I've added this one to my daily fetches. Pray continue.