Primitive writing, simplistic story-telling, and a clichéd idea. Sorry. Unless you've improved significantly since you wrote this and are going to go over the first chapter with a fine-toothed comb before proceeding, I'm not looking forward to a second chapter.
Author's response
Yup, I agree completely. This was my first ever fic, which was written April of 07. I like to think I've gotten better in the past year and a half, but I am turning down a lot of requests to continue this one precisely for those points, as well as the idea's been done before and much better than I can do at this time with where I left it.
I have a story that I AM going to rewrite about half of, but this isn't it, and it won't be up on here until I'm satisfied that I have enough time and energy to repair it before it will show up. Maybe winter time...
Thank you for your honest opinion. I appreciate it.