Review for As Of Yet, Untitled.

As Of Yet, Untitled.

(#) shysmile 2008-11-21

Fabulous! Excellent chapter as expected.

My favorite line was, "Or, maybe, bite it off. Or pull it off." Frank and Gerard's conversation was also hilarious.

I really liked the way you made them seem so real with their thoughts and emotions because, let's face it, this is going to be major for their relationship. I definitely think you did them justice. One thing you have done flawlessly throughout the whole story is keep the characters believable.

I was also impressed by how quickly you updated. Yay!

This chapter does have one itsy bitsy point of confusion. I was pretty sure that in an earlier chapter you either wrote in the chapter or in the author's response section that Egan was a virgin. However, you wrote, "Something she said she’d never do again." That clearly says she did have sex at some point. It is very possible I just made the virgin thing up. I just need some clarification.

Keep it up! I loved it!

I almost forgot about the STD thingy! I have no idea how I noticed that. Is it sad that it might just be the way my mind functions?

Author's response

I noticed a couple mistakes I made too, so I'll go back and fix those after I next update, or maybe now. The first was, as you said, the status of Egan's V-card. I did indeed sau she is a virgin, and when I read your comment and saw that I went "HOLY SHIT!" and my eyes almost came out of my head. And then teh Gerard/Frank conversation, Frank is speaking when it's actually Gerard's turn.

I love that you are always so positive and uplifting. You're like the moms at kindergarten soccer practice or something.