The plotline is pretty good, but may I make a few suggestions?
First, Your chapters are pretty short. Add some more. It seems choppy to say a little then cut it off for another chapter.
Second, I'm not perfect at this either but your punctuation and capitalization needs a little work. Some of it is hard to understand.
Lastly, Try not to text type too much.
If you see my stories, I've got some of the same mistakes. I'm not trying to be mean so please don't take it that way.
Anyways I'll continue to read the story and see what happens. How dare he be all rude to him.
Author's response
haha yea thanks for the review very helpful but I kinda gav up on that story like itz over soo thanks! ^
haha yea thanks for the review very helpful but I kinda gav up on that story like itz over soo thanks! ^
haha yea thanks for the review very helpful but I kinda gav up on that story like itz over soo thanks! ^