You know what? I am stupid. I'll admit it. But that's just the way I am. My writing, my thoughts and the music I listen to do not affect that. I've been suspended from my school twice because of what I listen to. They thought my My Chemical Romance hoodies were too 'graphic' for a school environment. You know what I said to the assistant principal when she pulled me into her office? I looked her straight in the eye and said "Fuck. You." She's seen my notebooks, my drawings, some of my earliest fanfictions when she tracked me on MySpace. She called me stupid for it. She said that I, apparently, "wrote that so you could get attention. Those 'My Chemical Romance' people will never read it; they'll never know of your existance. But, please, continue writing. Your plot-lines are rather interesting. But we'll see just how far you get in life." I know what you meant when you said that you died that day when your father ripped up your notebooks. That was a week before my 12th birthday; and that stupid bitch decided she wanted to take my notebooks and throw them out. I hate her for it.
I know for a fact that obsession is bad, like you said. Even as a thirteen year old girl- Gerard Way isn't the only reason I like My Chemical Romance. I can relate to their music; I don't care about their lives. I mean, I care if they're doing okay or not- because I care about everyone, it's just how I am. Still. Yeah, I think Gerard Way is hot. But what's that matter? I'm ruled by my hormones- it means nothing. I write about MCR because their music is what keeps me going through the day. They keep me inspired. Like, right now? The only chance I have left of getting into high school is art school because my grades are shit. So only my writing can get my where I want to go in life. Does that make me stupid? If they give me inspiration, is it bad to write about them as a small thank you for how far they'll get me in the future? No, it's not. Fanfiction isn't stupid. It's art. It's expression. And, for me, it's my last chance. So fuck anyone that says otherwise. Because it's also entertainment. It's sanity in word form. Like Harley. I don't know a thing about her except that she's an excellent writer. But the fact that she's been sober for 5 years because of My Chemical Romance and her writing? That's enough right there. Fanfiction is not wrong. It shouldn't be ignored. If anything, it should be embraced. It's not obsession; it's appreciation. So many people have told me that I'm too young to understand the message behind MCR lyrics. I'd agree. But I'd also argue. I could go on forever, but I'm too exhausted from this goddamn fever I've been staying home with. For now, all I can say is fuck whoever it was that said that. True friends don't do that. True MCR fans don't do that. We're the MCRmy. And an army with holes in it can be easily broken down. And we don't want that, do we? No, we don't.
So yeah. I need to take my medication now, and then have some tea and soup. Hopefully I'll get better soon enough to go spit in my assistant principal's face.
xoxo
nadia