My advice would be to try and structure your writing better. Use paragraphs and spaces between them, to give more of an impact and make it easier to read.
Not to be annoying, but you mispelt 'woman' lol.
Apart from that, i think the story is really good so far!
Update soon :)
Author's response
Thanks for the advice.
But to be honest I thought it was structured. It was when I uploaded it. But my laptop seems to hate me. :[
Yes i did mispell woman. Apparently there is more than one cranky woman in my story. :\
xo