THis is cool. Original, with no plot holes, spelling or grammar errors, etc. Very interesting ideas you have, please continue.
If you ever need a beta, feel free to contact me.
Author's response
Thank you for reading. I do have an awesome beta who does a wonderful job and has improved my writing greatly. But thanks for the offer, if anything comes up I'll let you know, but I've certainly latched onto my current one. =)