It's very choppy. I'd like to see where this is going, but you have to clue me in a bit to keep me interested. Right now I'm just confused.
Author's response
O...kay. This story is way better than my retarted Panic! At the Disco one. I have this one written down. Well, all the main parts. I have most of what happens in between. I get inspired at very odd times. I was inspired on my 8 hour trip from maine. Bored as hell. So I wrote the idea down as soon as I got home and vala. On the internet. But I know where this is going. Confusion will end.