Oh, Gerard, you make my heart burn....
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! i know that one!!!!! and what is the deal with that phrase exactly anyway? isn't that bad when your heart burns?
i'm glad you've rewritten the story, but i'm still unsure as to where t's going. it's very slow. what's the conflict? me wanna read more!!!!! pick it up, mami!!!!!
Author's response
Yeah I don't understand that either :)
Okay, I see your point, but...if you didn't see there is something going here. The relationship will not revolve around Frank and Roxie 24/7, I'm making this as realistic as possible, so if you can bare with me, I assure you there is plenty of drama coming up. ALOT. Now if you want me to just fully go into it now, then I can see what I can do.
The conflict is within everyone. In the next chapters, you will get to see the internal conflicts everyone has to deal with...pressure. You'll see why soon. I don't want to give it away, but there is alot of characters in here, and I'm doing my best to give everyone a fair amount of limelight in the story.
I hope you stick around, and maybe you'll see where I'm actually striving to take this. I'm not sure when I'll update because there's alot going on (we're better off talking on the phone, when you get a chance) so we'll see.
Thanks for the constructive criticism, my dear, but I soon hope to turn this around. Starting with next chapter.