Review for Birthday Wishes

Birthday Wishes

(#) YamiAlchemist 2010-09-03

I liked it. I agree with Irvine
-Cypher, there were a few things that could have been changed. Like some of the words that you used repeatedly.
Other than that, it was nice. It was pretty good for your first time writing a lemon. A little rough, but you've said that you've become better.
Over all, nice story!