Hun, I love your writing. You're very talented. I do, however, think that you're moving away from what you started with plot-wise. That being, a story about an extremely insecure hermaphrodite who thinks he's an absolute screw up (that being my understanding). You seem to have lost momentum with that side of the plot and moved away from it. I don't know if that your intention. I love this story anyway. It's quiet addictive.
M