ahh i love your stories i just finished the latest chapter of mine and now i wanna go take it down it feels suckish compered to your stuff.
i love all the characters and i would love to know more about bob and phin. i am loving the story so far and i think it is perfect you don't need to take anything out i don't think. and yer your writing is amazing i think your a great writer and i am a teenage girl funnily enough! also i did initially start reading this because i knew the characters (gerard&frank) but it is so much more than a MCR fan fic so don't worry about the other characters seriously.
anyhow cant wait for the next chapter!