I'm really late I know, but if there's some way you're still alive please read this. Ok where do I start. I know its been hard, but it's like spennyisflawless said, it's only been six weeks. I'm not saying you're going to get over it but in time you'll learn to accept it. I've just recently lost my friend Sam a few months ago. It was hard at first but it got better. Think of all the happy memories you guys have together. Let them keep you going.
I'm not going to beg you not to because if it's your time it's your time, but just think about what it would do to other people. Think about you parents, your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, etc. if they already lost Vanessa I don't think they'd want to lose you too. Just hold out for 7 more months. That's all I'm asking. By then if you decide it's your time then it's your own decision. Trust me on this. Just stay for 7 more months.
You have my email if you need me. I can't give you advice but I'm a really good listener.