Not to be a cunt, but I'm pretty sure I've read something strikingly similar to this. Not saying you knowingly took someone else's work, but it sorta looks that way.
--E
Author's response
Umm I wrote this in the Harry Potter fanfics over on Fanfiction.Net, maybe you've seen it there? If it's on ficwad you've seen it, I have no knowledge of others like this. You see, I have a bit of a life sometimes, and I wasn't able to sit at home on the internet to trawl through all 400+ pages to see if there was something strikingly similar to this. I apologise, though. I hate wasting people's time. You only have one life, and the seconds are ticking away. You don't need to read something that you've pretty much read before apparently. Then again, I don't need to read reviews about it, they're a time waster. I think we're even on time wasting now though, so goodbye.