Okay. I'm not trying to be mean. But this needs to be said. Please don't hate me, it's just my opinion and my take on the story.
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The idea itself it's pretty good. You have a lot of spelling mistakes that I graciously look over. Your grammar is not the best. You seem to know what your writing style is and that's a great start.
I think this could be good, but it needs a lot of work. This story does need a ton of work. I'd suggest getting one getting a beta. It's a lot of help and makes things less stressful. Your story would improve tons.
Hopefully I'm not coming across as a hater. I'm just trying to help and offering some -hopefully- helpful criticism.
Just keep working and writing and it will progressively get better. You have a lot of potiential and I think if you take criticism and think it over and let it help you, you'll go far. I do really like this story regardless of the mistakes.
Capitalization fails make me cry.