(#) DnG 2012-11-30
Lots of action to it, lots of viciousness, but no effing clue what's going on or happening. You need to slow down just a little bit and fill the readers in on what's going on. We're not watching a TV here, so you have to fill us in on the surroundings and what is actually going onn/leading up to the arrival at No. 4 Privet Drive.
Take some time to introduce the characters so we know who they are, especially since I have no idea about any of the other universe that you are crossing with here.
I am going to read the second chapter that is posted, but if there is no more clarification there than there is here, I probably won't read anymore as I am befuddled so far.
Author's response
Sigh okay here we go, the reason why I didn't describe Privet drive or the house was because come on it's a non describeable house and neighborhood. Yes I know, you aren't watching TV but, when you read, what do you see? Not just word but don't you see the people, places, things and actions? Because if you don't, then you don't have an imagination.
Okay, I'm going to introduce the unrecognizable characters to those who don't know who they are. I know I should have done that in the first place anyway but yeah I'll do it.