Review for A Terrible Clash

A Terrible Clash

(#) Katriana 2006-03-19

You need some work on your basic writing skills, simple stuff like sentence structure and punctuation.
It's very in keeping with the series so far, but you could spend a little extra time describing things. However you'll want to be careful not to bog down the reader in details if you do.
For a beginner piece this is well done, your idea is sound and your story progresses at a decent pace. I look forward to seeing future pieces from you.