Thank you for both of these reviews! I found them really helpful, and now that you pointed out what I could've done better, I actually agree with those points.
All I can say is, you really put a lot of thought into fanfiction, don't you? :D And that's not a bad thing at all.
Anyway, yes, thank you a lot :)
Author's response
I spend possibly too much time thinking about fan fiction...
Glad I could help, keep writing you've got a knack for it!