Wow, this is kinda like me in a way. For the suicidal bit I kept thinking "you don't know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night, scaring the thought of kissing razors." I link everything to music too..
I hate the way I look too. I put a photo of me as my profile pic on facebook and i'm like 'ugh this is so ugly ugh ugh ugh'
So, I'm like you, just younger.