I found this to be really beautiful, well written, I can see the emotion behind it. Not something I completely relate to, but I did like this poem of yours.
I must ask, what does the word "diseet" mean? I don't speak English very well and my vocabulary isn't the awesomest... I tried to google it, did you mean deceit?
Author's response
that's what I mean't. Diceit. Not Diseet. that isn't a word.