I really hadn't expected that! but i loved it! (and if we are going to get technical(insanecousinbenji) black skinny jeans probably weren't in style if they even had them back then, it's more of a 2000 thing Just saying) But yes we play God when we write so FTWWW!!!! X)
I Like it you know i do. But if i may speak openly to give my opinion?...(Gonna pretend you said yes) Great!
you need a bit more of a lead up into things, it just kinda feels like i'm in fast motion reading this. I love the idea and plot, you just need to slow it down a bit yeah? X) Like write a little more about how people are feeling, what their thinking. Describe things a little more. don't over kill it with the descriptions tho.
I mean the best and i'm sorry if i should have just shut up. I like this story and you have a great plot going on (As i have said) I just wanna see this rise to it's full potential.
I love ya! .xoxo. and i can't wait for the next update