Calm down. Please. Please calm down.
You didn't do anything - you aren't the one with the eyes who wander like they're fucking unhobbled camels.
If anything, I should be the one apologizing. I was a complete and utter dick, and I feel like the worst person on earth because of what I did.
Don't you dare beat yourself up about this - I fucked up, and really, you should be blaming me and hating me for all the shit I did. You should be blaming me because I broke your heart.
It hurt to send you that. It hurt to realize. I wish I could go back in time and never do half the shit I've done. If I could go back in time, I would make everything better. But I can't.
I love you. I still do. God, I love you so much. You're like my sister, my best friend, a puppy that I can snuggle and cry to when I feel like a piece of shit (which I do right now).
Please don't blame yourself for what I did.