Hi there, I've commented once as takahebi55 on deviant.I really enjoy your stories and am a big fan. I think this story has some potential, however I think you are far too critical of sasuke. I think for this story to be good and believeable you have to get over the fact that sasuke is pure evil. He isn't and I wouldn't necessarily call him selfish. You make him so much more cruel than he is and so far I like how he is in this particular story. You should continue to go with his ambition, but don't make it seem like he is the villain. I believe good antagonists are always best when you can identify and understand why they do the things they do. Good luck and keep up the good work.
Author's response
Thanks for the review. I would have to disagree with you naturally on how critical I am of Sasuke. I mean so far his crimes in the manga are, Assualting a teammate and would have killed him if not for Kyuubi healing Naruto, defecting to an enemy village, attempting to kidnap a Kumogakure Shinobi while knowing full well doing so would be a death sentence, killing a kumogakure shinobi trying to locate his kidnap victim, killing numerous Samurai in his pursuit to kill the acting Hokage, maiming the Raikage who was justifiably pissed at him, killing the acting Hokage (which I give him a pass for since he was avenging his clan) but he did it by stabbing another teammate through the heart who would have died if not for Sakura's healing abilities. Sasuke is to me the very definition of what evil is, a person who has no qualms about hurting and using others so long as he reaches his own goals which by that definition makes him also extremely selfish.
Sasuke might see his goals as noble, but his actions are anything but. I mean consider for a moment how many Samurai children whose parents he killed in order to "avenge" Itachi. In truth he is an extremely cruel person since he discarded Karin simply because he had no further use for her and was well aware of her feelings for him.