I love this! I like how the viewpoint switches from the person telling this story, to the lead singer (I'm assuming) on the stage, and back to the person telling the story. And I love how it's written from the point of view of someone who is openly mocking the singer. Like this part:
"They'll love you yet
wait.
it only takes a drink,
a pill,
a needle,
and they'll truly love you.
But we all know better."
It's awesome and tragic. And in a weird way, it reminds me a LOT of Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance. Kind of like his insecurities from back when they were getting started.
Author's response
You are correct that the person that the narrator is talking about is a lead singer... I didn't mean for it to sound like it was switching viewpoints. It's supposed to be someone watching this person on stage that (maybe) knows them. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear. :(
And I'm glad that the sort of cynical mocking tone that I was going for came through alright.
I love that something I wrote reminded you of Gerard Way! He's been a hero of mine for a long time and that comment made me super happy! Thank you so much, and thank you for reviewing!