Review for Miracles


(#) Ithilwen 2006-04-12

This is not a story. It sounds as if it would be most interesting to meet this woman in real life, but you need to work on your presentation.

There's a pretty classic writing tip that's used in almost all the workshops: Don't tell the reader. Show the reader.

Right now, you're telling me that she lived until age ninety and that she was right about love and life, but you're not showing me why I should believe it. Try giving us more detail on this woman's life. Does she sit down, old bones creaking, to tell someone about something that happened to her when she was young? Can she relate to others how her diagnosis made her feel?

Author's response

ok. one of early work which i dont care to continue...

as for my writing...trying to improve thanks! anyway the story was to live life to your fullest not about the old lady who is dying, that is what she is trying to tell to the narrator. "she told this person that love, being kind to people, generous to people, caring about people and being nice to people was her ways of living in life." how people should be in life

that is what she is trying to tell you and to other people.

i hope u do that!