Heh... quite fun... but the last "What?" seemed to be anticlimatic. I don't see Crowley reacting that way. If you're planning to revise this, maybe a more witty or pedantic reaction from Crowley be better. Like falling out of his chair or something. (...I'm kidding about that slapstick suggestion. :P) I'd imagine Crowley is more likely to have his eyes widen, be silent for moment and say "ah, I see... say no more, say no more..." like a bad Eric Idle impersonator.