Well, it does sound emotional. Very good character research. However, it's too short, man. Aren't you gonna do anything about it? Maybe rework it? Anyway, if this is based on your friend's work (unintentionally), tell him it's not half bad, but that he should try other things besides drabbles (I think they limit a person's imagination... and aren't really that good).
Anyway, God bless ya soul,