FicWad

In reading your story, I have to say this. You're too proper. It very formal and comes across as such You're writing a story about teenagers, and while you're writing about british teens, at that, they are still just that. It almost comes across as if english isn't your primary language, and while that may come across as an insult, it isn't meant to me. You write well. But if you're going to be writing about teens, write something plain and to the point. Even if they're brilliant teens at that, they still talk as such. I like you story, and like many others, I would suspect, I'm skipping to the Yahoo group to check the rest of the story out. SMILES!