Review for Hidden Feelings

Hidden Feelings

(#) Ithilwen 2006-04-23

This chapter would be stronger if you'd established what they'd been up to since the fall of the factory or why they were living together.

Grammar et al:

"Caught," not "cot."

"to check on Amon," not to "cheek."

Never "took" his shirt off.

Numbers that take two words or fewer to say should be written out: two years, seventeen days, one-half of a gallon, 3.14, temperature of 98.6 degrees, five million stars, 301 spots.