I would like to request a rating point that is given for extraordinarily clever usage of literary devices. The whole first paragraph with the repetition of time/ parallel sentence structure... stutters... Wonderful.
It really pulled me into the story and it also pointed towards the fact that time is pressing in a situation like this. Every minute, probably every second counts.
Total KUDOS!!!
I can imagine very well that this chapter was hard to write. But you couldn't tell after reading it because you did a great job.
At the risk of being a superfluous (and not effective) repetition: Kudos. :)
Author's response
i've said it before but i'll say it again-i love your reviews. they have substance. After reading this review I can actually believe that chapter was a good one. I had such a hard time conveying the feeling on numbness and urgency at the beginning. Sean had to be turned off but functional. And then for the rest of it I was so afraid to fall into a stereotypical "emo" story. Glad to see it didn't.
btw: Kudos is one of my favorite words. Its just fun.