Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Would You Believe Me If I Said I Didn't Need You?

15. Intent's Not As Bad As The Action

by luckysgc921 5 reviews

in which we enter into Sean's head for a brief change of pace.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Angst, Drama - Published: 2007-01-06 - Updated: 2007-01-07 - 1288 words

At ten in the morning Molly stopped thinking. At twenty to eleven in the morning Sean walked into the house and noticed the liquor cabinet in the living room standing wide open. At a quarter to eleven he had closed the cabinet and let his confusion lead him into the kitchen to see his sisters bag, he then let it lead him up the back stairs and down the long hallway to his parents room where the bedroom door was standing wide open as well. At forty seven minutes past ten in the morning Sean almost passed out at the sight of his older sister laying unconscious on their parents bed in a puddle of vomit whatever was left of the alcohol. At ten to eleven in the morning Sean O'Conell had dragged his older, but still much smaller, and now very unconscious but thankfully still shallowly breathing sister into the bathroom and put her in the tub. At nine minutes to eleven he was had dialed 911 on the phone. At five to eleven an ambulance was on the way and Sean was in the bathtub sobbing and holding his sister. At eleven in the morning the paramedics came through his parents bedroom door and into the bathroom and pulled his sister away from him. At one minute after eleven his big sister went into convulsions and the paramedics yelled something about aspirating. At two minutes after eleven they shocked her heart and Sean O'Conell's world stopped spinning for two minutes. At four minutes after eleven they proclaimed that she had a pulse. At five minutes after eleven his sister had an artificial airway and was being taken downstairs. At six minutes after eleven they were speeding along to the hospital with Sean sitting in the corner of the ambulance staring at his sister, tears running down his face, and apologizing for anything he had ever done to her while listening to the paramedics throw words like 'oxygen deprivation', 'brain damage', and 'suicide' around. He also heard the words 'shock' and 'trauma' being referenced towards him. But most of all he was praying to whatever God there maybe out there not to take his big sister away.
When they pulled into the ambulance bay at the hosptial Sean's world all of a sudden went back into clear focus and started moving at normal speeds. One second he was standing in the doorway to his parents room staring at Molly dying on their bed and the next he was screaming and clawing at the orderly who was trying to stop him from attacking the paramedics who were trying to move his sisters stretcher. The next thing he felt was a slight pinch and then Sean O'Conell knew nothing else for a few hours.
When Sean woke up he was in a bed in a dark room and a glance at the clock showed that it was now eight something, a.m. or p.m. he didn't know. Getting up Sean walked out of the room and was surprised to find himself on a quiet floor. Glancing down the hallway he saw a nurses station and walked in that direction. Once he reached it there were three nurses sitting behind the desk chatting quietly with each other.
"umm." He began not exactly sure what he was doing there, let alone how he got there, "Hi?" At his greeting all three nurses, one young and pretty while the other two were about his mother's age.
"Hi." said what looked to be the eldest of the three, "Good to see you awake. You're parents should be arriving in a few hours."
"What time is it? How did I get up here?"
"Sit down sweethart." The same nurse said while gesturing for the other two nurses to leave, "What do you remember?" She asked him gently.
"Everything." Sean responding with a choked sound to his voice after a few very long minutes. "Is Molly alive?" he finally asked while a single tear made its way down his cheek. The nurse, whose name tag he finally noticed said "Donna Jacobs", sighed before taking a deep breath and Sean thought he was going to throw up where he was sitting. His sister was dead, they only acted like this when they had bad news to give.
"Molly is an incredibly lucky young lady," Nurse Jacobs started which cause Sean's head to snap up and stare at her with hope shining in his eyes, "if you had gotten home maybe even twenty minutes later she wouldn't still be with us."
"Jesus." he exhaled, "why?" he finished quietly looking up at the nurse, his fifteen year old eyes begging for an explanation.
"I don't know darling. There is only one person who knows the answer to that question," she began only to be interrupted by Sean scoffing and saying,
"I hope you don't mean God, 'cause that's a little ridiculous."
"I was going to say 'your sister'." She finished her statement.
"oh. Who knows with the way she's been lately." He mused outloud to himself.
"Ok Sean, your parents are in the air, and they should be arriving at O'Hare in about an hour, and should get here in about two. You can see Molly for a few minutes if you want."
"You mean she's not under her seventy-two hour watch yet?" Sean questioned in surprise.
" do you know about that?" The nurse asked raising her eyebrows at the fifteen year old's question.
"Standard procedure for a suicide attempt. Esspecially in a minor."
"no, she's not under watch yet. Your sister is still unconscious and until she wakes up she'll be on this floor."
"well, then, yes I want to see my sister." Sean said with a firmness that surprised even him to his voice.
"Alright, follow me." As they walked down the hallway Nurse Jacobs explained to Sean that Molly was hooked up to various machines, some were just in case she needed help breathing, something she was thankfully doing on her own, but most we're just monitoring her condition. When the two reached Molly's room and Nurse Jacobs pushed open the door she squeezed his shoulder and told Sean to take as much time as he needed.
Sean walked into the room and his breath caught in his throat. His sister looked like someone had turned her into a punching bag. She had wires and tubes coming in and out of her. Worst of all was the fact that her mouth was black from the charcoal they had forced down her throat in the hopes of negating whatever was still in her system that she had taken. Sean wondered how many pills Molly had actually managed to take before they're effects mixed with the voldka made her pass out. He hadn't been thinking about it at the time, but looking back his subconscious seemed to have registered a fairly decent amount of pills still left on the bed. Maybe thirty left on the bed. If it was a new bottle of their mother's anxiety pills then Molly took thirty herself.
"God, are you fucking out of your mind?" he asked his unconscious sister, suddenly his terror giving way to fury before going back to fear. "I love you sis. Please don't leave me. Please. Please." he sobbed over and over while pressing her left hand, one of the only free parts of her body to his lips before eventually drifting off to sleep again from emotional exhaustion.

A/N: Short as hell. I know. I apologize. This was incredibly difficult to write. More tomorrow.
title from "Dearest Helpless" by Silverchair. anyone who knows me knows they had to have shown up sooner or later.
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