That's a great story line you've got going on there, but quite a few spelling mistakes, and grammer mistakes...I suggest getting someone to edit your stories for ya, before you post the fics, okay? My main account is on fanfiction.net, where all my fanfics are, so before you harp on me, check there. Lol. This is just a suggestion, but I thionk you have a great set-up for your fic. Keep it up!!!
=3
-Me
Author's response
sryu if their are any grammar and spelling mistakes im only 13.