The holes. The plot. I just my brain feels like it's having a seizure. How long was it betten conception and testing? Tests don't work that early. I thought she wanted Sango to use both for accuracy. What happened there? Not only that but also Kagome (only after losing the baby) thought about the ramifications of being pregnant in her time. Where the hell is the time line!! I'm sooo confused. Why are characters speaking on the same line of type as another character's actions? We don't know who is doing what. Beta Beta Beta. The plot holes are big enough to fit my entire house into. What does Kikyo think of all this. Why hasn't Inu thought even once about what Kikyo will think of the pregnancy. How did he just magically kill a "stronger" piece of Naraku? How could Naraku accidentally make his child stronger than himself? He's cold. He's calculating. He's not stupid. And the instant pet names. Inu is emotionally stunted. He won't skip from calling Kagome stupid to my love. In theory he would be confused but try hard in deed to make up for his lack of linguistics. Also, the pain and stress of the kidnapping could have easily caused the fetus to abort. Why go to the trouble of stabbing her? If gone with the wind taught us anything it's that a staircase is the method of choice. Further, how does Kaeda patch up a wound that serious so quickly and how does it heal that fast. Did having sex with Inu mess up her holy powers? Also why on earth would Kaede know about her bruised cervix. My gyno needs special contraptions and a light source for that kind of thing. Also wouldn't Kaede want to know why Kag had a bun in the oven and not beat around the bush asking about her virginity? There are so many other bits in my head that I'm surprised I picked up on with only 6 hours of sleep in the passed four days. Please Beta. There are so many possibilities for this story and mispelled words shouldn't be one of them.
Author's response
Thank you so much for your input. My apologies if you didn't like it. Here's a tip to you, don't take it so seriously... there shouldn't be so much logic going on in your mind when you are reading a story that has an original plotline designed to kill logic. Your gyno may need special contraptions but Kaede is a miko. She has spiritual powers. It's fiction. Otherwise, how would she even be IN fuedal japan? I have plans for Haisurah's :death: there's something behind it, I just haven't had any time to write on it. She only thought about the consequences later because at the time, she didn't really think of it.. it slipped her mind and she was caught up in the moment. Kikyo has really nothing to do with it, but she will be in later chapters which I seriously hope you will not be rating because Naraku is not the only cold one apparently. ^_^ Inuyasha is not stupid. I'm surprised that you even think that. I'm sorry you are confused. honestly I am. I'm not going to Beta for a couple reasons, one being that I see no immediate need to Beta. In case you haven't noticed, this is a fanfiction site. I'm not writing these for professional purposes, it's only practice for myself. I am only sharing these stories with you guys because I know I enjoy reading them as well. again, I'm sorry for your displeased demeanor. I am rarely even on this site anymore.