I'm taking into account your comment that this was written when you were in sixth grade. As a sixth grade work, it's pretty competent and certainly better written than most of the works I've seen. It's grammatically correct and there's a feel of editing and revising from the way the words were chosen deliberately.
That said, I thought that this was a bit ordinary as a poem. There's a lack of feeling or imagery. As a poem and on its own, it lacks enough feeling or passion. That's how I read it, though.
Still, it's a decent enough work.