Your stories will all get this much attention when they're all this funny. Keep in mind, funny is what I think you're going for, so my comments are geared toward eliminating anything that makes this story stumble on the rocky road to chortleworth.
That being said, I'll clarify my previous comments.
I think you should acknowledge the discrepancy between your high school experience and everyone else's. Something like, "While some people might have said that having any car at all was a good thing, the hours that Derek spent scraping off graffiti and pushing it out of ditches offset any freedom or privelage the car might have given him," or something. Also, Derek spending his week with his face in the toilet is a great opportunity to crack a joke on the similarity between stomach flu and swirlies. Derek seems like the sort of sarcastic guy who'd notice that.