Derek narcs on Tony? Oh, that's not right. He should have just said that it wasn't him, maybe that he'd seen a classmate.
"If I' the" "If I were the"?
"It wasn't that he wanted to protect Tony, in fact he wa" I think you need a new sentence at "in."
"Thirty-four" gets hyphenated.
He's taking Ketamine?! That stuff has a serious abuse potential on the street. When I was in middle school, people called it "Special K." The teacher could end up on trial for drugs.
"I've been in more car accidents than on any police chase TV special you will ever see!" This means that the number of accidents he's been in is greater than the number of TV shows he's been on.
"For the love of ass-raping mosses!" 1. MYAAAHAHAHHAHAAAHAAA!! 2. Mosses or Moses?
Is Hendrickson related to Derek at all? Shame. I'd have liked to watch them interact.
Author's response
Derek didn’t really like tony; in fact, he doesn’t really like any of his school mates
i always have trouble deciding what should and shouldn’t be hyphenated, thanks
in Hendrickson’s mind, prison would have been a vacation, and those were just the drugs he had on him at school (hint, hint)
keep your eyes open for the next chapter, I’ll try to get it up as soon as I can, I’ve got some great ideas for it
thanks for reading