Review for Harry's Return

Harry's Return

(#) SiriusStains 2007-03-21

You need to work on your starting point...honestly reading the first cahapter to me was like opening a book at a random page and starting. You also need to work on your characterisations..tehy are rather flat for lack of a better word. You leave a lot of questions. Your dialog seems forced and it really does not have anything that just hooks a readers attention.
I apologise that this is all critisism, but hopefully you will take it to heart and use it to try to improve your writing.